The Journalist files

time to end the story

2009-10-05T06:47:00.000-07:00

well, replying to a few requests made by people,

It seems that even as the time passes, words are spoken and things were taught. Realisation of facts occured in such a short amount of time, less than a year?

the time has come (to stand for all we believe in) where going to NS may not be such a burden, in fact i am looking forward to it....

not just for the bonds to be made, the stories to be told, the time away from home,

but the realisation that after this... my life will no longer be the same...

to all friendships and to all parts of my teenage self i have to leave behind,

I may not come back the same, but i hope i will be stronger...

cos i just want too....

the journalist files last report
Jeremy Pan =D

LONG TIME NO post!!!

2008-12-28T07:24:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

HEYZ yall... been off for a long while... and lots of things have been going on!

SCM half marathon 2 hrs 12min 01 secs ^^

Brisbane, (posting pics soon)

26th soccer with juniors...

And the crash* ^^

Last cell for 2008, ended with a new cell arrangement... cant wait to see how the new year will be like... My vote for cell lead... Melvin Gan!!!!!

Will post more soons guys....

running and running

^^
In His Time
Jeremy Pan

The SCM half marathon

2008-12-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

A second person view from a first person event

the day before: you end the day eating pasta and a double cheese burger, hoping that it would provide enough energy for the next day. Your body feels sluggish, you dont know why, but its a good thing as you have to rest early. You reach home, bathe, prep for tomorrow, then hit the bed to sleep.

2.30AM: You wake up, not so much as being eager to go out already, but you may miss nicholas' call to pick you up. You do nothing to go back to sleep, although you try to go online and see if anyone can reply you, but to no avail. You end up lying in bed trying not so much as to waste the energy that you have.

4.30AM: You finally get out of bed, did the necessities, and prepared to recieve the call from nic. He finally calls you, and you don on the race gear, and head out to meet him.

5.10AM: Taxis' pass by as they glance towards you, thinking that you would flag them down. The night air is cooling, perhaps too cold, and the streets were deserted. You started to sing in your usual tone of voice, "Oh Lord our God" was the only song then, giving no care to the residents who were living in the blocks close to the street (well they lived by the street right? so they wouldnt be affected by my singing^^)

Nicholas' and his dad finally arrives, he picks you up and we went down the CTE to orchard, before turning to the city hall area. You see streams of participants gathering and strolling into the padang area. This would be the first time you saw such a crowd, imagining 50,000 people.

5.30AM (flag off for full marathon) :After depositing your bag at section E, You and nic gather a water bottle each, and headed over to the starting point area. It was only about a few minutes past the flag off time, when you see the kenyans, a whole bunch of them, running at a pace of about 9 mins for 2.4km. The crowd which gathered at the toilets breaks out into a cheer and thunderous clapping. interesting thing to note about these guys: they run as a pack so that they can hear the "thumping" of the legs as it hits the ground so that they can keep momentum with one another. Clever tactic eh?

Soon after, streams of participants start to trail along the road, as you wait in line to go to the portable toilets, although you nearly regret as the toilet smells of someone's chemical bombing, advice: go before you leave the house.

6.15AM: You begin your stretch and wondered when you are going to be called. You ask a lady for the time and figured it would be the best time to go to the start point. Both of you pass by a water station, squeezed the entire GU gel pack into your mouth and drank some water before heading down to the start point. You see the crowd packed towards the starting line, as you squeeze in and out of the many participants lined up there. you prepare yourself mentally and told nic: "you ready?" although his reply wasnt as good as you think nonetheless, you are going to run the race.

2mins before the flag off time, the MCs were revving everyone up by speaking through the system. you see balloons making it into the sky as the MCs told everyone to let go of the balloons. music blasts into your ear as you walk past a speaker, you see all sorts of people,
Like this guy wearing an orange wig who was also taking the half marathon, and others who were wearing clothes not seemingly able to run with.

6.30AM (flag off for half marathon): The time has come to put your body to the test, you say to nicholas: " if i ever drop behind you, dont wait for me and carry on". even though the gun has already gone off, you still spend 2 mins walking to the start line, put both earphones in your ear, and begin to move off.

The first thing that happens is that you see nicholas weaving through the crowds, good plan you think, and follow suit behind him. You pass by crowds and crowds, inching your way forwards. the plan was to stick close to nic as close as possible, so that he can pace you.

4km mark (as of running knowledge): You are running near tanjong pajar mrt area, as you pass by what seems to be a 2km mark, you say loudly: "this is so demoralising, we ran so much and its only 2km?" Nic seconds that, and even a lady running beside you also agrees with you. pretty soon, you reach the opposite of the start point road, and as you run past, you see the faces of those 10km runners preping to go. Now you are headed for nicole highway, pass the singapore flyer. By now, your ipod earphones are drenched in either water, or your sweat, making them impossible to use as of now, so you tie them round your neck, hoping it doesnt interefere with your running.

7km mark: You pass by the singapore flyer, still in tune with nicholas' speed. You see the fast food restaurant, Popeye's, telling nic that the rest of the youth went there yesterday. As you continue to run, you pass by drink stations and drink stations, each providing the liquid fluids you need on the run. You only go for the water, opting for the 100plus later on. You jog pass the all familiar 2hr 15 min pacer, with a red balloon and a super cool adidas "official pacer shirt, telling yourself that you will try to jog infront of them, at most a few meters behind them.

10km mark: You hit the nicole highway bridge, as you trod up the incline. You are amazed at yourself, considering the fact that you are still on nicholas' pace all the way. You dont want to think how long more you can hold, as you continue on. A song keeps on repeating itself in your head, "Father, Into your courts I will enter", as you use the tempo to help you press on. You see people, out of the norm, such as one 'hiking' up the bridge with a tyre and styrofoam box, which says "dont tailgate" tied to her.

12km mark: "Come on guys! 10 more kilometers to go" was your cry as you run pass the 12km sign. A volunteer with a loud speaker replies: "9 km more to be exact" LOL.

The route now seems to be the easy part, as your mind focuses on the people running on the opposite lane. The hard part is to keep up with nicholas' speed as you turn back from the halfway marker, and the strategically placed U-turns which seem to demoralise you.

17km mark: The last U-turn for the day, this is the point where your speed begins to drop as you see nicholas run ahead of you. Even as you trudge on, you see a familiar face and call out to him. Weird, he was supposed to be faster than yourself, nonetheless you carry on, trying to now pace people around you.

As you enter to the starting point of the F1 race cars, you see a display of sports cars on the right, and as of now, the 10km runners have entered the route with you, displaying more speed in their run. Not Every kilometer passes by, in which you shout out, 2 (at the 19km mark) kilometers to go! You spur everyone around you, even the supporters who seemed to be tired from standing there all day.

21km mark: You see the finishing line, 150m to go, you try to increase your speed, at the same time, urging people around you to finish the last part of the race. You run and run and run, at the last 10m, you look around you check if you are going to block anyone, and you spread out your hands to celebrate the 21.1 half marathon finishing!

In the end: You change your championchip for the race medal, looking around for nicholas, but you dont see him. you find tee first and then you head down to get your bag. Nicholas joins you soon after and you two head for breakfast and lunch at funan. You search for Darren soon after, and you three head home with a race full of experience to share^^

You cant wait for the next time you run

In His service
Jeremy Pan

Driving and ADIDAS

2008-12-04T01:44:00.000-08:00

If you can read this, you'd better run faster

numbers these days:
6 - minimum number of hours on the road since i got my license
2 - near accidents I had since I got my license
1:15 - the time it took to wait in line to collect my race kit
36607 - my race tag number
4 - number of papers i have finished this week

I will update more soon... but right now, i have to get ready what i intend to do over the next 3 weeks of holiday

1) pack room for renovation
2) go on a photo spree
3) sign up for next year's races
4) prepare for soccer ministry and AQ!!!
5) finish up FYP

To ALL Mission trippers who cant go to thailand right now

2008-11-30T05:34:00.001-08:00

Let me get straight to the point...

Most of us, YCCA mission trippers, SJCP mission trippers and CHS mission trippers, and probably others who are going over at this time...

I may not know how you feel, most certainly disappointed and frustrated that all your hard work has gone to waste... As for myself, a certain disappointment in the fact that i wont be able to serve God by bringing back testimonies and also I wont be able to improve my skill in photography there...

In any case, we all felt that the situation in thailand caused our hard work (prayers, meetings, time given... i dunno... maybe about close to 6 months?) even for those waiting anxiously to see the people who made themselves see life in a more clearer way,or even those who have prayed hard to ask God to show them why they are going for the trip (remember that God doesnt need you but He wants you) it must have been disappointing to now how can such an incident could disrupt all the plans eh?

when i came back home and talked to my mom, i realised this same familiar feeling that I had when I faced disappointments like this, and this wasn't as bad as the first time. but then i realised that God has planned all of this right from the start already, everthing intricately designed since the time to come, but we as humans dont realise this majestic way of realising the truth.

When you sleep tonight, dont forget to thank God for making such a thing happen. I told myself before... a long long time ago, whatever we plan, remember that God is the ultimate one who plans for us. One thing i can be sure of, especially when you volunteered to go on the trip, is that God is indeed happy that you have chosen to serve Him during this time^^

I challenge you tonight, to ask yourself some questions:
1) Since God removed this mission trip, would something (good or bad, exciting) happen during this time that God has placed for me to see? ( Could be a testimony)
2) If God planned for us not to go in the end, we will be able to free up a week during our holidays for us to use?

For myself, I can testify that now that the trip is cancelled, my mom would not be too anxious if i will get back late from the airport on the 19th at 12pm (flight delayed and stuff like that), because my flight to brisbane is at 7pm and i will need to check in at 5pm. ^^

Well, i am getting kinda excited, because i know that God will show us something during this time, so i can just say, be prepared.

^^
In His Time
Jeremy Pan

supposed to study.... but....

2008-11-27T23:06:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to study...

Ended up taking portrait shots... lol

photography!!!!

2008-11-24T04:26:00.000-08:00

Hey all

I would like to petition you guys in my quest to become a photographer!

help me remind myself to do a few things:

1) save money to buy D700^^
2) save money to go on courses
3) take ALOT of photos
4) remind me to bring camera wherever i go (IMPT!!!)
5) Get my portfolio ready!!!
6) learn more photography/photoshop techniques

THANKS ALL IN ADVANCE!!!

Jeremy Pan

summary of events....

2008-11-23T04:54:00.000-08:00

hey guys!!!

Alot of things has happened the past few days...

so this is the summary:

Fri 21st nov....

Took pics at macritchie reservior with Gerald, walked the "girls" route and had a nice long conversation with him. After that, rushed down to SP to do growth factor aliquoting with my fyp team... i think its the coolest FYP ever!!! cos i got to work in a lab^^ good thing the TSO was happy that day.... or not she would not have helped us... lol

After that, headed down to bukit timah plaza to meet sus and we waiting almost 1 and a half hours for the aeropostle lady to arrive with the goods.... sad thing is, my shirt was one of the four items that were out of stock. but i got the choker, which was cool.... then taxied down to my place for cell. After cell i drove each of them home^^

22nd november:

Ran with darren and nic in the morning, not say ran but 40% run, 60% walk to lower pierce.
Met the BB boys at the storeroom while they had their meeting and was surprised by handy's hair cut. Jerald's 'fake' key was stuck in the door and we had to pry it out with our fingers, came off after clayton tried it.. haha

I left shortly after that, went home to bathe and rest for awhile before going to city hall - marina square bowling to meet the church, they were playing bowling and we all had real fun! played liwei's set for awhile as aloy budged in. After that, i went to aaron's place for some catching up and a round of the PS3. we waited for the rest to come, went to rent a movie at 2am in the morning and slept at 4am. went home at 7am to sleep and do some work, and left to play soccer.

rained pretty badly, was stuck doing tactical training

xian cai ya tang!!!! rocks PP!!! cheapo food!!!

^^
Jeremy Pan

DRIVING!!!

2008-11-19T07:07:00.000-08:00

HEYS EVERYONE!!!!

after spending almost $2.8k on lessons, i finally passed my driving!!^^^^^^^^^^

during the test, the instructor kept on tapping on the electronice tablet, i was scared that i was 'over-marked' but kept focus on driving, in the end, i passed... with 2 demerit points!!

woooooots!!!!

Today was the day i first drove... got a call from my dad while having mission trip meeting and had to go to tiong baru and drive him home... super cool sia, and scary at the same time, had to pray for protection from the Lord!!!

got horned and nearly bang into motorist in my blind spot... but i made it through!!!!

Thank GOD!!

^^
In His service
Jeremy Pan

Salomon trail run 2008 results!!!

2008-11-10T19:50:00.000-08:00

Hi ya'll,

Today is the day i got my results... and.... not bad i'd say for my first trail run ^^^^^^^^^

will update more soon.... SUPER happy with the results

In His Service
Jeremy Pan

I love running

2008-11-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

Its good once in a while to post something positive ^^

If i could run forever, I would run and run and run (or perhaps cycle). Too bad singapore is too roadish and there are too many cars.

I love running, running just takes your mind off things, plus, in my case, I can communicate to God^^

Ran last night, 10km around 1hr, jogged to tee's place and to the bike shop to look for bikes. Thinking of going back to cycling on the road, so am not sure about road bikes too. it was about 3km there, then i ran the remainding 7km.

Ran and ran and ran, with christian songs blaring through the headphones, i could commune with God and just pour out everything. While i was running, something came to my mind, telling me that I should put myself into two areas soon, the soccer team ministry and the BB AQ team next year.

I have a dream, that during this last year of my so called "break", i am going to accomplish what i have never had previously.

The dreams to fulfill:
1) Standard chartered 21.6km in 2hrs 15mins
2) to train the boys: AQ team 1st position
3) Upgrade myself in terms of photography
4) Build up and train a soccer team worthy of winning championships

I have 1 year to do this.

And I will do it, believe me

Because?

you now know a new version of Jeremy Pan

In His service
Jeremy Pan

If i had a wish

2008-11-05T06:58:00.001-08:00

I would go back in time and stop myself

the 10km salomon trail run

2008-11-03T18:18:00.000-08:00

A second person view from a first person event

5.45am: In the morning you wake up groggy and unaware, until you come to your senses that this day will be your first run ever. You hop out of bed to wash up, realising you got less than 20mins before you have to leave with your parents. The day before you were wondering how to get there and realised that your dad is leaving for the airport at 6.10am. What a Godsend.

You gobble up a banana and a slice of bread, then you go to your room and don on your race gear. Thinking of keeping it light, you dont bring a bag, only a shoulder pouch, containing your ez link card, $5 and your keys. Your handphone you place in the back pocket of your pants. Having no where to put your race tag and pins, you just hand carry them in the plastic bag they came in.

6.10am: You are called to leave now. You run to the refridgerator and grab the big kit kat waiting for your consumption. The bar is packed with energy but is difficult to chew due to the morning dryness of the mouth. You forget to hydrate but still you head out the door, knowing that you already did the day before. You get in the car and your dad drives all the way to the airport.

6.30am: You reach the airport and headed to the train station. Realising you have missed your train, you wait impatiently, eager to reach tampiness on time. the train came after 6mins and only left after 4mins, giving you time to mentally prepare your self.

6.55am: you reach tampiness after changing at tana merah, finding many people like your self wearing the same shirt. You are desperate to find the way to the place, thinking that by following someone you could reach the place, but no.. you head your own way, trudging past a sodden field and almost deserted roads to finally reach the place.

7.15am: You glimpse at the first sight of the road marshels in green. You walk up the steep road past the long line of toilet waiters and headed to the holding area. You search for your friend who made it there earlier than yourself. You found him and his friend getting ready to warm up. You introduce yourself to zhen ping. Then you head to an empty area to warm up.

7.25am: the announcers call for all the runners to get ready to do a mass warm up. You head to the area, finding your senior gerald and samual over there already. You meet up with them and chat. Gerald comments that the techfit that you are wearing is going to kill you, but you reply that you have always been training with it.

7.30am: all the racers head to the start line, and when the time arrives, the MC announces: "on your mark, get set, GO!" and all the runners break off with a steady paced run. You follow them at the back, having no chance to head forward due to the crowd. The first patch of grass you land on is fairly dry, some parts were sandy, until you go deeper and deeper into the forest where the rain touched, and the place was muddy. The rest of the runners slow down to cross safely, but your head strong attitude pushes you to run in the mud and past the runners, but dirtying your entire leg in the process.

You continue to run, pushing and pushing through crowds, that are being snaked by the narrow paths, and into the bushes by the sides, or splashing through day old mud that has been 'disturbed' by the runners ahead of you. You finally see the 3km mark and realised that you have 7km to go as someone ahead of you announces. 7km more. you run and run, being paced by the person ahead of you, you see people lose their shoe in the mud, but you just carry on. The mud gets thicker and when you step into it, you nearly lose your shoe. This is your training, no one is going to stop you.

5km left: You run and run, and realised that you are out of the forest, but the rest of the 5km is not as easy as back in the forest. the sun beats upon you like a hot blade, and the road ahead of you is straight, meadering into the hills that you see. Its going to be a long 5km, you are wearing double layer, but you push on, at points of time running at the pace of the person ahead of you. you begin to see people walking, which makes you want to walk, demoralising. You see the first runner about to head to the finishing point, demoralising.

The sun continues to beat down upon you, and the series of uphills and downhills are making it worse. But thats not the end of the misery, as you see your friends whom were behind you 5mins ago are now jogging past you as if they had a speed boost. You see a water station up ahead and go in to have a sip of gatorade. you toss the cup to the side, not wanting to slow down, the same goes with the half a bottle of mineral water, which you need the water to cool you down with the double layers you are wearing. You douse yourself with the water and toss it aside, not considering the helpers who have to pick it up later. You just want to run. You see people walking or already with the medical teams. You hear reports over the radio that a man nearly fainted but had 1km left to go and still wanted to carry on. You see people fall but get up ready to go. But its not about them, its about you.

3 km left: The series of hills were killing you, your energy depleted and down to the last of reserves. you see people walking uphill, as your jog nearly breaks down to a walk, in an attempt to reserve energy. The downhills are no use either, the slight moral boost only is greeted by another uphill that awaits you, and you are unaware of the next uphill behind it. your eyes have been only able to do 2 things, look at the ground to see where you are running, or find distance indicators along the road to see how long more is there. Either way, your mind is only focused on pushing you to jog and not to walk.

2km left: You see your friend jog pass you on the return route shouting: " 2km more PAN!" and you reply: "I'm behind you". the stretch would be the last uphill that you are going to encounter. the sun is killing you, you feel the heat of the waves burning you from the inside. You realise you have two options: die here without any identification (as you did not remember to write it at the back of your tag) or push on jogging and not even drop to a walk. Dying there is not an option, so you reduce your speed in an attempt to conserve energy till the next water point. finally you see one, and the joy of noticing that the end is near. you take your last bottle and douse yourself once more to cool yourself off. you see the distance indicator along the roads, 1km then 400m. Its going to be a last stretch.

200m left: a man pushes past you as you break off in leaps downhill. You finally see the end, pacing behind a man who did not notice you behind him, and flings his prespiration on his hair to you. you see the final end point just less than 100m ahead, you break into a sprint, flinging your arms wildly enough to get the boost you need to get your speed.

You hit the end point.

Joy and a sense of accomplishment fill you, the first race you completed and there are more to come....

Conclusion: You walk to tampiness to have breakfast with tee and zhen ping, having being full of fluids after drinking to the max the free drinks after the race. You walk home with soggy shoes only to give you a bloody blister. Your friend comments that you stink, not having any clothes to change into, but you dont care. Its over already and you cant wait for the next time you run.

I just wish i could cry in the rain

2008-11-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

this is the first time i have ever ranted on my blog, so bear with me, i am also using it to review myself, if you have any violent objections, approach me directly and not to 'announce to everyone' or i can get quite... pissed, i type here cause i can express it better.

After all the events that have occurred, i realise the actual point where i really fell. It all comes back to the point where the people whom i know who are the same age as me and of my primary and secondary school years, could walk over me as if i was some door mat, bullied, taken advantaged and etc etc. Dont have to go through the details... but what was the reason? i was too soft

SOME HOW THE PEOPLE WHOM I TOOK CHARGE OF WHEN I WAS IN MY SENIOR YEARS, SEC 4 AND SUCH, LOOKED UP TO ME, HOW FOOLISH WAS I TO THINK THAT THEY COULD BE MY FRIENDS WHEN THEY WERE NOT EVEN THE SAME AGE AS ME. but thing was, as later i learnt that even people whom are 10years difference of age still could be close friends was a hope for me. But i lost it anyway.

It was only the realisation when i spoke to nicholas about why he (in particular people of his age) dont take me seriously. you know why? BECAUSE I CHEATED MYSELF INTO THINKING THAT LOWERING MY SELF (IN TERMS OF MATURITY) COULD GAIN FRIENDS SUCH AS YOU AND THE REST OF YOUR BATCH ESP. JONATHAN MOK. FOOLISH

In the past, everytime i have to ask those whom i knew for the first time if i looked young, i was still cheating myself that i had the 'looks' to be friends with 1991 born people, but come on... you cant blame me... I was just looking for a friend!!! Jonathan was the closest i could get already, but why did i lose him? cause of things in between, such as myself that i had to try and find. I read an article in the not too long past that states the character of a single child, that long friendships can turn out loyal and those that he lost are gone forever...

but the problem lies with me, my heart? my actions? my initiative to be a "big brother" to those i meet? nah... it was the fact that i was trying to find the person who was close to me as a friend in which my heart took over in feelings and emotion. I find it hard to smile anymore.

I now know what i must do, please forgive me in advance... if you know another way, other than prayer. cause frankly, i somehow lost the faith that prayer will see anything through (for myself i mean) everytime i ask God to show something, such as how this friendship (with jonathan) would result and stuff, would turn out... i have no reply, and truthfully, i am getting quite tired of waiting.

if you all realise lately, i have not been smiling often. As for you (glow), i have to be cold towards you, i cannot fall into that trap again of being childish and think i am 16 cos i know i am not. i have to do this because i want something for myself that i have been letting people take from me for the past 3 years and that is the freedom to choose.

I envy those with best friends, cause they are all your age. I still think of why i tried to bear no grudge against alan even though he was the one who was jonathan's best friend in the end. even as of now, i still want him to know Christ and such, but i always wonder why i do so.

I dont really care who reads this post,

nic: i doubt you really care anyway... thats why i am surprised that you really help in the youth ministry

sus: be thankful for your group of friends, cause you know someone who is tried to get that same recognition and companionship, lost it, and suffered for it, me

Chari: Thanks for being there, but no one will ever know what i face, and i dont blame you

The rest: know that jeremy pan isnt some one to step over, cause i will bite back now

Either you care or not, but as for me... its just another day that these thoughts run up my mind.

I still miss that companionship, but its gone now

I just wish i could cry in the rain

UPDATE!!!!

2008-10-31T00:02:00.001-07:00

YAY!!! I can upload pics!!!!

lets start with monday 27th oct

Futsal day.... deepavali... all rolled together to one... thank God we eventualy did not cancel the event, cos i had so much fun and getting to know the rest of Eric's family and cousin, brandon (who is zai for his age). This game i had the oppurtunity to play upfield^^ going to have to train harder in order to play my midfield!!!

The way back was a tiring one... considering the fact that we had to walk all the way back to take bus 16 to meet the rest at douby ghaut for dinner...

Fanta... get yours truely by aloysious and the mama shop between the bus 16 bus stop and nel's futsal court. Dont ask me why he posed like that... he just did... plus the bottle went up the bus and got a place in the back seat as a hole filler... (dont ask me why again)

These three were making soo much noise at the back, only marcus ng was the quiet one... for once.
Talking abt nearly everything until shan kuan decided to change to a seat infront of mine and i moved in with him to stop the noise :P

30th oct....

Was supposed to go and run... but in the end, with my dad and my bro, we went on a all men's sushi buffet at akira sushi house at tanjong pagar. We sat in the tatami room. My most memoriable dish was the fish stock soup served tea style.... the soup was clear and brothy... interesting dish... the most dish i had was most certainly the soba!!! and sashimi Ika (squid)
Was too full to run in the end :P

In His service
Jeremy Pan

Update...

2008-10-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

Something wrong with my firefox... cant upload photos... soooo

i will update tomorrow... if possible... cause i have to review my work before i sleep^^

Nights

In His service
Jeremy Pan

Jeremiah 29:11

2008-10-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I remember how i learnt this verse. It was that very reason that i was so down and out, considering that time when i was still going through the phase of feeling 'backstabbed'. This verse came to me as i was going to give up hope, give up pushing through.

I think God is trying to remind me: "Hey, see what I said was true."

Indeed... Am still waiting for more though ^^

In His service
Jeremy Pan

Mel's bdae pics....

2008-10-23T02:53:00.000-07:00

Go to this link to see all the pics!!!

Mel's bdae pics!

Flickr

2008-10-22T22:03:00.001-07:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

flickr acct usage for posting photos

2008-10-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

Having a vast collection of photos at my disposal, i previously have no way to use the sites: flickr and now photo bucket to my advantage... but now i can with the collections^^

Go to my flickr for all the photos (i will post) and the best on this site^^

Keep updated^^

(DONT PSYCHO me to join facebook)

It takes up my time

In His Service
Jeremy Pan

Long time no update

2008-10-22T17:44:00.000-07:00

Its been quite awhile since the last update eh?
Sorry... need to learn how to post pics from photo bucket before i can do anything^^

Wa... i'll need to acct from last tuesday onwards... but these are the summaries of what happened.
-Sat was the TCM retreat, going to post photos sooon (plus timeline)

-Had resumed soccer training from a long long time... although the attendance sucked and it rained

-monday was another long day for me, a 8-6 session with a 5 hour break in between, during that time, i was like watching iron man while i was supposed to do my plant design work. I remember that day my mom was like furious why i had to wait so long before i could do my NS sign-up ^^

-tuesday ended school really really early, like around 12pm (2 hrs class) i didnt go for class either^^ but had to meet my friends for meeting after class, so i came down from home abt 12pm to have the meeting, then went to have lunch with yam and ek at FC2 with the cheapo rice. Had a good chat and got my 250gb portable hdd (although the cover said 250 it was actually 232gb) then yam and i headed to queensway shopping centre to get him a pair of soccer boots. while there, i saw "skins" something like my techfit but sooooo much more expensive (i want *hint* *hint*)

then we went to tp to settle my Singpass which i need for the NS signing up. BTW, congrats YAM for passing your motocycle course! anyway, what ensured was a series of events that was weird and amsuing to some, not to me. First, we went to yam's place for me to play commander with his new full frame face helmet^^ then,we walked 1km to settle the Singpass when i realised i didnt bring my IC! after that we went to tp to get yam's specs and get a drink plus tiramisu from coffeebean (the tiramisu not as good as aunty june's), then went to get subway to hit the road.

of course there was another meeting for the mission trip and this round we spilt the groups to discuss each team's roles. I admit I was kinda bored, and did all the 'beads' work^^ Rushed home after that to complete the NS registration thingy with my booking on 9th jan 1030am (no lessons) and slept around 12.30am

ON to wed!

-wed was a usual day, woke up surprisingly early just to go down to class when none of my team mates were there to discuss the project.... haiz... so just played com lor... tried to upload photos the way Sus does it but somehow there is some prob. Anyway, lessons as usual but during the break i went to see the concourse area with its supposedly "nike" sale but only 1/5 of the goods are nike goods. LOL.

After lessons headed straight for driving, having only 1 hour to go, i went this route, 105 then 855 then 162 then 13. remind me not to use this route again, the 162 bus took a long long road. I really thought that i was going to be really really late, like 15mins late. But tell ya something, i was reminded why we christian's pray, because we were to exercise our faith. Previously, my state of mind told me always not to worry, as God was always in control right? but after hearing Melvin's story, i was reminded that for God to work, we needed to excercise our faith and pray!!

So i prayed that i would reach on time even though it was drizzling quite heavily and i had taken the longer bus route, and surprisingly (not really) i managed to reach a few minutes late only, since my lesson started at 1.05pm, i think i reached around 1.08pm. then went in for lessons, and realised that i could still drive even though i had breaked for 1 and a 1/2 months.

After that, went home to wait for dinner to approach^^ then went to MEL's house to surprise him. I loved his house as it has this contemporary design. Everything about his house is nice lor... even waggy as i 'trained' him to be an attack dog ^^ lol. so we celebrated his bdae and went to eat 'dinner' at pp macs as the nic, ek, yam, alan, hong, john, giam have their adventure meeting... i think i will be going...

Anyway... we just ate, laughed, pic-ed. Left around 9.30pm while they went to play boggle. reached home and it was still raining, so cant run :( haiz.. need to run tonight.

Sleepy now that i have woken up so early for a lesson that wasnt there.... LOL

^^
In His Service
Jeremy Pan

Thailand mission trip meeting 2

2008-10-15T09:43:00.000-07:00

Start of the new season

2008-10-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

NOT IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

Eating at astons!!!
Did abit of editting... so the skin looks abit clay-ish... was actually redish before

Sus', glow's and my dishes have arrived but not chari's
The food was the bomb (the best) man! my steak was the perfect combination of sauce and doneness... loved the redness in the meat... haiz... everytime i eat steak it always reminds me of the matrix in the first movie when the betrayal guy met mr smith.... the scene just tantalizes my tastebuds!

this part when chari said glow was disgusting (off pic: glow licking the sauce bowl)
Chari: "I wonder who will be your girlfriend" (correct?)

this is how glow would hold his future son/daughter
We were all laughing how glow would have his future kids (and whether they would grow up like him ^^)

At the hospital

Fire away!!
The salom chapel people previously were there and as pastor ben puts it, it was a shoot out!
Flash flash flash

The visitors
placed it on the movable table to take this shot

The visitors revised

Itadakimas (isit correct?)
Here we met a chinese actor... forgot the name le... but i knew he was speaking chinese to the tori-Q people

In the lift to the hospital (with no 7-11)
Was this taken in the lift for the clinic block or the hospital wards?

Little joel's first shoot
Just like his dad

Chari is now an aunty

Sus and the baby

Long first day today...
Summary of what happened: went to school with contacts, after school went to see the eye doc to check contacts, went home to slack, went to cityhall to stone with glow's ipod, went to eastshore to see rena and the cozy one room, went to eat at astons, got an unexpected call, went home on bus 48, sang on the way, went to meet a friend in trouble, went home to sleep, unexpecting the next day...

^^
In His service
Jeremy Pan

Long time no blog!

2008-10-12T06:41:00.000-07:00

sorry guys! its been awhile... but i had to prep ALOT of things...^^

Thailand trip, CONTACTS!, diffuser and tripod ... plus plus plus

just some updates and part of the pics^^

-The BBQ on oct the 5th (anyone wants pics just msg me)
- thailand trip meeting
-worship prac

Like some high school musical shot ^^

This one also ^^

Jaron as he flies

Here you go for the weather forcast in singapore Bings ^^

Back from bintan!!!

2008-09-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

Bintan crazy!!

2008-09-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

I am going bintan crazy!!!

The beach
The room
The relaxation
The getaway
The friends

ARGHHHH!!!! I want to leave now!!! ^^

We are staying at the top part of the island... if you can find nirwana resort hotel, the nirwana beach club(where we are staying) is there too!!!

Disclaimer to self:

Jeremy... on the days Before you go... you have to settle a few things:

1) compile FYP hematopoietic data (now)
2) go SP library borrow books (tmr)
3) clean camera (tmr)
4) Think of children's game (tmr)
5) Search for the fair contacts (tmr)
6) Songs for worship (sat)
7) Pack bag (sun)

I think thats all... better start now!!!

^^
In His Service
Jeremy Pan

One word titles

2008-09-17T02:01:00.001-07:00

Visuals of the void

Delusional

Water

Shadow

stairs

pointing

stare

Stand

Cozy

Nostalgia

symmetry

Taken at AMK
editted

"Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever... it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything. "
Aaron Siskind

^^

CATEGORY: BEST OF THE FILM

2008-09-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

Shao Bing and camera

Long steel path

Hey thats me

Defense of the tallest

Giants of Cluney Park

Not your average guitar player

Ahead

The Jammers 1

The Jammers 2

Innocent and pure

The Jammers 3

Just thinking

Mid morn shadows

Not what you see everyday

Frame it there

The Jammers 4

tAoPP- the Association of Piano Players

The Jammers 5

Wish you were here

Couples in the meadow

Singapore?

The lady and the cool

^^(all are non-editted but can do so on request)

In His time
Jeremy Pan

Anatomy of faces

2008-09-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

"I have never been aware before how many faces there are. There are quantities of human beings, but there are many more faces, for each person has several."
Rainer Maria Rilke

I woke up feeling the irritating sickness in me again... called my mom to take me to a doc later... yuck... being a human sticky glue dispenser. When i felt better, the time has come to do something...^^ taking all the film photos which are good, i began a 1hr journey to scan most of it. Which resulted in me realising an important fact of the day... i need a new scanner. either the surface is dusty or the fact that most of the photos that i scanned did not replicate the originals... (for those who want them, i will pass you the hard copies soon, except for the special ones ^^ for memory sake and photo display)

the scanned films are above in the next post

So after that time, i set up my 'home studio' and did a mini series of face shots, if i converted them to .tiff i think it would be nicer^^... will edit the eye shots and perhaps post tmr... i have an interesting high key concept in mind... will try that....

Lunch was eaten at 5pm, plus the fact that the salted veg duck soup sucks other than the soup, cos the duck was so tough, it was unedible. finished it with a cup of tea and drugs (medicine la). headed to buy reachargable batts and ntuc for shopping before heading home to rest.

Slept for abt 2-3 hrs... after which i felt super shiok... but perhaps i wasted the day playing stronghold after that... lol.... and adding which, i nvr had a 1 hr long conversation before on my hp, lucky that guy call me or not i pay.. lol...

^^

In His time
Jeremy Pan

just to relax

2008-09-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

Woke up at the exact moment i was planning to go to woodlands for my fyp meeting, so grabbed my gear and headed down to amk to train down to woodlands

This is what i got (after heavy editting)

"stepping out"

To my dismay... i was 45 mins early... talk about being early. Walked around causeway point before wai kit and cher sung showed up. And a theory was proven... the one who lived closer to the meeting point always comes late ^^ (1 out of 1 true). Spent $9.55 on lunch/breakfast before heading to the library for the discussion. Managed to come up with a proper plan (which is good). then headed supposedly home for rest.

I remembered the glow had a game to pass to me.. so i headed to his place to collect it... ended up 5 hours there playing valve games... (tf2 IS SUPER COOL) maybe i will get^^... so after the long hours which left my head hurting, we headed for dinner at the nearby coffeeshop.

The chicken rice store auntie knows glow... and she cleared our plates for us... commenting:
(in chinese which i obviously dont know) "I like boys like you who finish up their plates of food, your future wives will like you"

Glow and I:"............................(BWG)"

Headed home after that... and played all the way (am trying to relak for the hols... so chill""")

^^
In His time
Jeremy Pan

Going futher than taking pictures

2008-09-10T08:06:00.000-07:00

taking photography into a whole new level:

Editted henderson wave pictures:

"To me, photography is an art of observation. It's about finding something interesting in an ordinary place... I've found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them. "
Elliott Erwitt

I'll be there

8th September shoot em

2008-09-08T05:34:00.000-07:00

1st photo shoot day!!!

I hate being sick... unless i am on drowsy stuff ^^

some crazy day today was.... i traveled to novena to have breakfast with ek...mmmmm favourite glazed donuts...and a lukewarm mocha latte (i dont think it was even prepared properly) .... then booked the bintan trip...(haiz... to have changed and changed again)

headed back home after subway. SLACKED alot... then i started the photo shoot ard 5plus... take note of the following details me ^^: use -0.7 flash ev and manual mode 1/200s at 5.6, bounce flash on left wall... ^^ makes good portrait shots!! (only found out during dan's shots, sorry mr koh! :P )

The best pics:

MARCUS KOH

DANIEL LIM

We were tired and hungry after the shoot, so we went for dinner. I brought them to my faved salted duck soup store but it was no more... (the duck soup). So i ordered the black chicken ginseng soup which tasted really bitter.... remind me not to try that soup again....:0

Need to pack my room... so messy... like some messy guy room

:P

In His service
Jeremy Pan

6th september...

2008-09-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

CLUNEY PARK OUTING DAY!!!

My cough and flu is still killing me... haiz... left the house with the aftermath of the sickness, feeling like i just finished a 21km run... thank God glow was there to accompany me during breakfast and had teh...

After breakfast... we walked back to Church, talking about old batman shows... about how the series used 'pajamas'es' as costumes... lol. well at least flags today was joined by cassandra and YJ.. whom i have not seen in a long long time. After flags...Had meat bone tea for lunch... discussing the thailand trip fund raising stuff... still need to finalise...

Now thats where the pics start coming in (the proper ones, if you want the personal portrait shots... aka body shots... pls ask me directly...) notice the break in the sequence... cos i pulled out my SLR to use (i'll scan them ok?)plus i got muddy and tired.. long day leh...^^

So the day got by quick with a few muddy dives and innocent pictures.. then dinnered at adam road food centre...well.... i didnt.. the rest did, and found out that our coy got 3rd place for CQ!!!! WOOOOOOOTS!!!! (which doesnt happen in a long time) lol... and was sick and tired the way home... haiz... how to play tomorrow???

ENjoy the pics!!!^^

In His Service
Jeremy Pan

4th september... or 5th september

2008-09-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

HI EVERYONE!!!

SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATES YALL!!!

Exams and other stuff just seem to drag me away from this blog thing... but i shall not despair anymore!!!

well... CTC ended and adding to that, the break i have been stating for a long long time... and time to get the bintan trip in way....

the hols always starts with me going out on photo trips... so just for the viewing of previous weeks...

the first 3 being the "attention to detail" series... and the last is just my take and a random shot i call: "This wierd dream i have"

The holidays are here and thats all i can say... be sure to check for more updates on the way!!! woots... (it rhymes!)

31st july 2008

2008-07-30T20:06:00.000-07:00

READ: Hebrews 4:1-7

Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts. —Hebrews 4:7

It was a wild night for our family. At 11:30 p.m., I got a call from my son Steve. “Dad, I’m going to Iraq.” “Right now?” I asked in disbelief. “Yes, I’m ready to go.” Earlier that day, our Navy corpsman (medic) son had told me he thought it would be several months before he would go.

We talked a little more until he had to hang up. Then family phone calls followed as we let his sisters know what was happening. They called him to wish him well and pray for him—and that was it.

A couple of restless hours later, Steve sent a text message: “We’re not going. We’re headed back.” A helicopter ride to another state and back was the extent of Steve’s trip that night, but it was still a valuable experience. It tested their readiness. The military had to know that when the call came, the corpsmen would be mentally ready to go.

When it comes to being ready for eternity, we won’t get that kind of practice. No one knows when we will depart this earth through death or be called home at Jesus’ return.

If you were called into eternity today, would you be prepared to meet God face-to-face? Have you opened your heart to Him? (Heb. 4:7). Are your sins forgiven? Are you ready to go? — Dave Branon

Ready to speak, ready to warn,
Ready o’er souls to yearn,
Ready in life, ready in death,
Ready for His return. —Tillman

New pics uploading later!

30th july 2008

2008-07-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

READ: Psalm 90:1-12

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. —Psalm 90:12

The designers of an innovative Web site call their creation a “snapshot” of our world. Every hour, computers monitor international news sources, select the most frequently occurring words and pictures, then display them as an interactive image. Over time, these hourly snapshots compose a mosaic of unfolding world events.

If a computer could track our words and actions, what would a snapshot of yesterday reveal? Over the weeks and months, what patterns would emerge? And what theme would dominate the final mosaic of our lives?

Psalm 90, a prayer of Moses the man of God, is a powerfully honest look at the brevity and significance of life. The writer compares an entire lifetime to a dream or a blade of grass, and cries out to God: “So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (v.12). Our days often seem so insignificant, yet they add up to so much. The Message renders verse 12: “Teach us to live wisely and well.” It is a prayer for the snapshots of life with the final image in view.

When all the pictures of our life are laid on the table, they will reveal our recurring words and actions. What story will they tell? It’s worth considering as we make our choices each day. — David C. McCasland

God has given life abundant—
Live it fully every day;
Though our time on earth is fleeting,
He goes with us all the way. —Hess

It’s not how long you live that counts, but how you live.

It just reminds me of this song:

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.

Busy busy busy. The time flies by without a moments thought, it somehow links to todays devotion, that our lives arent much after all. Anyway, these few days have been a blur as i tried to complete serveral assignments, rush to different places and of course... driving... I probably shouldnt have chiong 3 lessons a week... feeling burnt out right now... haiz...

since its been a week... i will try and recount... i hate recounting... works my brain out...

My voice had become a movie intro person guy's voice. I was basically going:" this year... he came back" in the low and rusty voice... probably cause i lost my voice after singing on saturday. But at least now i am on drowsy drugs!!! they are nice... makes you go into that 'mode'. Dont worry... i am not high... ^-^

BB cares was kinda screwed... late for mostly everything... but in the end i had at least some chicken and mashed potatoes from popeye's... so it was good. mmmmmm mash potatoes... after that rushed back to SAJC for soccer... everything seemed to be fine... although the lack of attendance seemed to indicate otherwise.... BB boys understandable ya..

So mon and tue were fine too... met shan yu at the gallery... haiz... i kinda admire him for his work and stuff... lol.. Got to remember to get hanif a present ^^

The past is gone the past is lost
For all who walk a trampled path
He calls us forth for His own use
He calls us to see Him soon

I am still waiting....

-Jem

July 23rd 2008

2008-07-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

READ: 2 Corinthians 4:7-18

Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
—2 Corinthians 4:16

Some people are obsessed with physical fitness—daily workouts, vitamins, organic food—in spite of the fact that our bodies keep ticking away in inevitable decline. In our twenties and thirties we think we’re invincible, but in the decades that follow, the eyesight starts to go, then the knees, then the mind. Let’s face it, trying to ensure long-lasting physical health is like trying to stem the tide with a pitchfork!

And while it is true that the older we get the worse we get physically, it doesn’t have to be that way spiritually. Believe it or not, it is possible to get better with age. It’s what the apostle Paul meant when he said, “Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day” (2 Cor. 4:16).

Many of us fear aging with all the trouble it brings. But when we are gradually stripped of everything that props us up—whether wealth, independence, health, dignity, beauty, or all of the above—we are left with more and more of God. So no matter how old you are, it’s not too late to dig deep in God’s Word and invest more and more time in your spiritual well-being. You’ll see the payoffs, now and later. The older you get, the better you can become! — Joe Stowell

Although our outward shell decays,
We still can be renewed each day;
Commitment to God’s Word and prayer
Give strength that will not fade away. —Sper

To get better with age, get spiritually fit.

To remind me of what photography is like in the business area:

Nic, marcus and aloy were down at the jc field with BB boys and some of the soccer team members to play soccer. Shan Kuan was there... and he mentioned about konnichiwhoa! exhibition. To think that his bro could even sell his photographs there... aH... the amazingness of pictures! life through the lens, the heart, the mind, the soul, all these incoperated into a single image!

But strangely enough: 6-6.30pm was not the only time someone mentioned photography to me. A secondary school mate of mine, yong kang, needed a SB-600 flash. He initially asked J. Tee and he refered to me... somehow, when i met him to pass to him the flash... we just had a short conversation on photography. when i mentioned about my preference to photography... he just mentioned about taking it at university level... somehow... i just wanted to go for it....

This is my dream:

To be able to go everywhere in the world... and take the word of God with me! spread it by writing books, taking pictures, and ultimately acknowledge the very presence of God through His works, the people He loves, the things He did, the sins of the world that do not stand in the light... AHH the wonder of it all....

"There is one thing the photograph must contain, the humanity of the moment. This kind of photography is realism. But realism is not enough - there has to be vision, and the two together can make a good photograph. "
-Robert Frank

"Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter."
-Ansel Adams

Could it be reality???

21st July 2008

2008-07-20T22:52:00.000-07:00

READ: Romans 12:3-13

So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.
—Romans 12:5

An air-monitoring station atop a California mountain has detected wind-borne particles that drifted across the Pacific Ocean from coal-fired power plants and smelters thousands of miles away. Some experts predict that expanding economies in other nations could one day account for a third of the pollution in California. The US, however, remains the world’s largest emitter of greenhouse gases, and other countries are feeling the effects of America’s energy consumption.

An Associated Press report quoted atmospheric scientist Dan Jaffe: “There is no place where you can put away your pollution anymore.” Every nation shares the world’s atmosphere and is affected by the actions of others.

A similar principle is at work in the global community of those who follow Jesus Christ. We all have a stake in the lives of others because our actions, good and bad, affect every other Christian. In the body of Christ, each member belongs to all the others (Rom. 12:5). Because of that, we are urged to exercise our spiritual gifts (vv.6-8), and to be loving, faithful in prayer, and generous (vv.10-13).

Our obedience to the Lord may seem insignificant in the big picture, but it breathes freshness and life into the spiritual atmosphere of every believer. — David C. McCasland

We don’t live unto ourselves,
We’re part of one another;
For good or ill we touch a life
Of sister, friend, and brother. —D. De Haan

When believers influence each other for good, the body of Christ remains healthy.

We are indeed on in the same body, and therefore should help one another. Just as i was walking home from buying lunch, i began to pray for the people who are taking their o's/A's this year:

For Ms Lee, Ernest, Glow, Basil, Benjamin...
To have the Strength, wisdom, courage and ability to do the O levels.
That what ever points you get... Is all from God.
To Pray harder

It'll be over soon!! work hard!!! Do your best and God will do the rest!!!

This week has been fun.... soccer, photos and running. You know what, after soccer on sunday... either training was easy or i train hard... cos this morning i woke up without the usual leg aches... ^^ cool... time to up the intensity... share the same dream anyone? Also, the fact that i am running and training for soccer means that i can prep myself for NAPFA too!!! woots! soccer team ppl... i really have that dream that one day we'll become a soccer team that wins!

Sunday was also an important day for confirmation people... I was thankful that my dad and mom were confirmed into church... as for me... i will probably do it next year.... ^^ then i'll need someone to photog me... lol.. got some cool shots that day too..

Well... cant wait to go henderson!!! i'll probably be teaching photography soon... i feel ppl have the need to be taught about photography....^^ coming soon

It just makes me think:

I serve a God who is faithful, and He will never fail
When i'm in the desert He's a river of hope
I server a God who is faithful, His faithfulness prevails
Lord I Put my trust in You

Chorus:
I serve a God, who is faithful and true
I will hide, in the shelter of Your wings
For i find my rest in Your faithfulness
Yes i serve a faithful God

Bridge:
No matter what this life may bring
Heartaches and pains
Through it all i'll turn to You and call on Your Name

17th july 2008

2008-07-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

July 17, 2008

Why Pray?
READ: Luke 11:1-13

When [Jesus] had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. —Matthew 14:23

As a journalist, I have spent time with famous people who make me feel very small. I rarely sleep well the night before and have to fight a case of nerves. I wonder what I would do if seated at a banquet next to, say, Albert Einstein or Mozart. Would I chitchat? Would I make a fool of myself?

In prayer I am approaching the Creator of all that is—Someone who makes me feel immeasurably small. How can I do anything but fall silent in such presence? How can I believe that whatever I say matters to God?

The Bible sometimes emphasizes the distance between humans and God and sometimes the closeness. Without question, though, Jesus Himself taught us to count on the closeness. In His own prayers He used the word Abba (Daddy), an informal address that Jews had not previously used in prayer. A new way of praying was born.

Jesus understood better than anyone the vast difference between God and human beings. Yet He did not question the personal concern of God, who watches over sparrows and counts the hairs on our heads. He valued prayer enough to spend many hours at the task.

If I had to answer the question “Why pray?” in one sentence, it would be, “Because Jesus did.” — Philip Yancey

If Jesus needed to pray, how can we do less?

For those studying: remember to pray that God will renew your strength and keep you from the temptations of the evil one!!!

Another day another story to tell... running 5km technique:

run at a moderate pace
dont stop running!

13 times around a 400m track... around 6 your mind starts telling you to quit, around 10 you lose all thoughts and just run, at 13 you start sprinting....

And you did it

^^

This one kept me going when all things turned blur:

Think about His love, think about His goodness
Think about His grace that's brought us trough
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure of our father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love
So great is the measure of our Father's love

How could I forget His love
And how could I forget His mercies
He satisfies, He satisfies, He satisfies my desires

Think about His love, think about His goodness
Think about His grace that's brought us trough
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure of our father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love

Great is the measure
Great is the measure
Great is the measure
Great is the measure of our Father's love
Great is the measure of our Father's love

"Father i pray that as i continue my walk with you, you will give me faith to believe that you are God, wisdom to discern your blessings from temptations, strength to carry on, and in my boldness and humility i come before you to ask you to provide; allow me to reconcile any hurts and pains in my past, that i may come before you with a heart ready to worship you."

AMEN

In his service,

Jeremy Pan

July 16th 2008

2008-07-16T06:29:00.000-07:00

July 16, 2008

The Bible Guy

READ: 1 Corinthians 12:4-11

Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them.
—Romans 12:6
When the youth group in Rich’s church needed Bibles for study, he went on a search for more than 70 copies. He got what they needed, but he never stopped collecting and distributing Bibles.

People and businesses donate money; others give him new and used Bibles to share. The motto on the side of the van he uses for this ministry explains his simple desire: “Need a Bible? Ask me for one.” Rich is an ordinary guy, a heating and plumbing technician, who carries on this ministry in his spare time. His nickname around his church is “the Bible guy.”

Do you ever wish you could have a special ministry like Rich’s? The Lord has given each of us at least one spiritual gift to use for His kingdom purposes. The apostle Paul lists several in 1 Corinthians 12 and Romans 12, and some are mentioned in 1 Peter 4:9-11.

If you don’t know what gifts you have, volunteer for a ministry in your church that interests you, or meet a need you learn about. Then ask yourself if you saw God work through you and if you had joy as you served. Ask fellow believers if they think you’re gifted in that area. And ask the Lord to help you determine where you fit in His plans.

The Lord wants to use you too. — Anne Cetas

Help us, Lord, to work together
With the gifts that You bestow;
Give us unity of purpose
As we serve You here below. —Sper

Christians who bury their gifts make a grave mistake.

My God given Talents:

Being a leader (to lead)
PHOTOGRAPHY (to display)
A heart (to worship)
playing soccer!!! (to minister)

To use these gifts in the way God wants us too... its kinda amazing... after seeing it from a third person view, one can identify the various talents God has given!! To all my friends... identify these talents and use them for GOD!!! JUST DO IT!!! woots!

Long day as usual, but the highlight was that library was having a sale and i bought runner magazines.. going to train my running for soccer!!! Cos all you soccer team players out there, i Got something to say!!! I want to be part of a winning team!!!!! thats right!
I really need to get everyone motivated like this.. lol. Tomorrow hopefully there will be mags on photography... going to spend the last of my money for this week :( but who cares? PHOTOGRAPHY!!!

no BB cares this sunday.... haiz... but you know what????

SOCCER TRAINING IS ON!!! WOOTS 22222

Just another one:

Jesus, God's righteousness revealed,
The Son of Man, the Son of God,
His Kingdom come.
Jesus, redemption's sacrifice,
Now glorified, now testified
His Kingdom come.

And this Kingdom will know no end,
And it's glory shall know no bounds.
For the majesty and power
Of this Kingdom's King has come.
And this Kingdom's reign,
And this Kingdom's rule,
And this Kingdom's power and authority
Jesus, God's righteousness revealed.

Jesus, the expression of God's love,
The Grace of God, the Word of God, revealed to us.
Jesus, God's holiness displayed,
Now glorified, now justified, His Kingdom come.

I want to be the best of the best in soccer, GK, CB or CM.. i want to be where he was...

Just like each gift God has given us:

14th july 2008

2008-07-14T08:38:00.000-07:00

Living Sacrifice
READ: Romans 12:1-8
Present your bodies a living sacrifice. —Romans 12:1

When my son Steve left home in the summer of 2006 to join the US Navy, he knew the gravity of his decision. He understood that once he walked onto that naval base for boot camp, he was giving up everything a teenager lives for. He was leaving behind his freedom, his guitars, his music, and his girlfriend. He surrendered the right to make his own choices and to do what he wanted to do. He said, in effect, “I am making myself a living sacrifice. I no longer do things for me; I do them for the service of my country.”

The sacrifice Steve and thousands of others make when they enter the military service reminds me of what the apostle Paul taught in Romans 12:1. In that passage, he urged us “to present [our] bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.” This means we are to give up our selfish ways and surrender ourselves completely to God. We are to seek to be “holy” in all we do—to have a godly character (1 Peter 1:16), which is acceptable to God.

It wasn’t easy for Steve, who cherished self-determination, to give it all up for the Navy. But he did it. And it isn’t easy for us to completely surrender our will to God. How can you and I be a living sacrifice for God today? — Dave Branon

Here is my heart, Lord Jesus,
I have but one for Thee;
Oh, let my heart be Thine alone,
Thy will be done in me. —Mick

A life given fully to God is at the heart of true sacrifice.

This just reminds me that this life, in conjunction with yesterday's devotion... that the life we live is certainely not ours to live. But its just so hard you know?

But is it not better to be called early and experience God early? Who would give for that? Or would we devulge in earthly pleasures until God calls again? The choice... that choice... is so hard to make sometimes...

First off, not going extreme, i just wanted us to ask oursleves that question to realign our thoughts and hearts and mind, so that we may be able to know the direction we are headed. Just as in class today... "is it possible for an organisation to put motivation into its members (workers)". I would relate it to the context of our christian lives, that when we is down, we should edify each other, spur one another on to the end! FLAME ON!!!

Today was the good day in a long time, my class was only 1 and a 1/2 hours long... after a prac discussion, i left for home and driving... soon i will be able to take the road!!! lol... hmm.. maybe i'll have some porridge my mom cooked... maybe not ^^

It just reminds me of the song:

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You

13th July 2008

2008-07-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

Youth Sunday!!!

July 13, 2008

The Time Of Anyone’s Life

READ: Galatians 6:6-10

Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. —Galatians 6:9

What am I getting out of life? That’s a question often asked by those who focus only on themselves. But as believers, we need to ask: What am I putting into the lives of others?

Years ago, Dr. Wilfred Grenfell served as a medical missionary in Labrador. On a recruiting tour, he challenged nurses at Johns Hopkins Hospital to join him for a summer in his difficult ministry. He promised them hardship and discomfort. He warned that instead of earning a salary, they would have to pay their own expenses. But he also promised them they would experience joy because “it’s having the time of anyone’s life to be in the service of Christ.”

A nurse who accepted that challenge wrote this after her return from Labrador: “I never knew before that life was good for anything but what one could get out of it. Now I know that the real fun lies in seeing how much one can put into life for others.” If we change that word fun to blessing, we have the key to Christian self-fulfillment.

Take the apostle Paul’s encouragement: “[Do] not grow weary while doing good . . . . Do good to all” (Gal. 6:9-10). Put yourself into the lives of others for Jesus’ sake. You’ll experience a fulfillment beyond compare. — Vernon C. Grounds

Make me a channel of blessing today,
Make me a channel of blessing, I pray;
My life possessing, my service blessing,
Make me a channel of blessing today. —Smyth

We are at our best when we serve others

Today was youth sunday, and once again i would like to thank the Lord for giving us all the strength to push through even though most of us slept quite late...
Although i am sorry... that i was not able to complete and improve the slideshow in time... thus i say: "there will be better ones to come!!!"

Today's daily bread speaks of serving and what we reap we will sow, in doing good or evil. Thus as followers of Jesus Christ, we should continue on the tough journey as the devil will see that while we are doing good, he will continue to poke and sting us and the pain can only be relieved in Jesus' Name! So as Ms. Lee says... Flame on for Christ!!!

Indeed today's devotion has a huge impact on me, as i just been put down by the negative emotions that rig my heart, for example, why i continue to show myself as a leader, as a elder brother, as a friend, as a mentor... So it really put me down while i was having fun and i wanted to go home... so i started to walk home...

somehow... I felt along the way that i should stay with the rest of the youth... which in turn, brought me to bishan... Thai express was expensive... so i didnt eat.. although i lived off some scraps before turning to LJS for clam chowder... and bus-sed home with marcus ng. Why the Lord may have impressed upon me to go bishan... i have absolutely no idea...

In the time to come probably...

12 july 08

2008-07-11T19:28:00.000-07:00

Marriage Before Love

READ: Genesis 24:61-67

Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun. —Ecclesiastes 9:9

A man went to his pastor for counseling. In his hands were pages of complaints against his wife. After hours of uninterrupted listening, the pastor couldn’t help but ask, “If she is that bad, why did you marry her?” Immediately the man shot back, “She wasn’t like this at first!” The pastor, unable to hold back his thoughts, asked, “So, are you saying that she is like this because she’s been married to you?”

Whether or not this story is true, it does suggest an important lesson to be learned. At times, feelings toward a spouse may grow cold. But love is much more than feelings—it’s a lifelong commitment.

Although most people choose to marry only because of love, in some cultures people still get married through matchmaking. In the lives of Isaac and Rebekah recorded in the book of Genesis, love came after marriage. It says in chapter 24 that Isaac married Rebekah and then he loved her (v.67).

Biblical love is about our willingness to do what is good for another. Husbands are instructed to “love their own wives as their own bodies” (Eph. 5:28).

So, walking in obedience to the Lord, let’s keep our marriage vows to love “till death do us part.” — Albert Lee

“For better or for worse,” we pledge,
“Through sickness and through strife”;
And by the help and grace of God
We’ll keep these vows for life. —D. De Haan

Love is more than a feeling, it’s a commitment.

This reading today just reminds me of God's forgiving love and grace, that after He died for us, and we in turn give our lives to Him, we are sealing a marriage pact. After this marriage, we should love God and Him only, for He has shown us pure, great, amazing, powerful, intimate, everlasting love... the list goes on and on...

I remember last year when i counted the days down to youth sunday... was kind strange though... dont have to remember... anyway, with each beginning of a year new things happen. Like new skills and new friends, each are God's blessing. As such, this blog would also help to keep me in rememberance of God's everlasting love.

Just this morning i dreamt of playing the electric guitar, cos probably of the movie i watched just before i slept, school of rock. LOL. I hope in the near future i can...

Tomorrow is a great day, because God gave us the opportunity to use this sunday, to reach out to the youths in church and friends, to come and take a closer walk with God in point community. Let us not waste the opportunity my brothers and sisters... let us not!!

If its ok with ms yap... then i would like to do the same after the blog to write a song for the day, that i may keep it in my mind throughout:

Of how God has shown us love:

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

July 11, 2008

2008-07-10T21:53:00.000-07:00

Savor The Flavor
READ: Galatians 3:26-29

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. —Galatians 3:28

America has often been called “a melting pot.” But obviously that is not the case. Politicians tend to fuel sensitivity to class and color divisions for their own gain. Gender tensions abound. Generational differences are more marked than ever. In fact, cultural observers are starting to say that the “melting pot” metaphor is outdated—that the goal should be a cultural “stew” in which the distinct taste of each ingredient is enhanced by the contribution of the other ingredients.

In a world where pride and prejudice abound, Jesus offers us the joy of unity across all the lines that so easily divide us. In His church, the unique flavors of our diverse backgrounds can complement each other, united “through faith in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:26) and empowered by His Spirit and our submission to His principles. In Him our diversity doesn’t divide but rather unites and enriches us as we recognize that we all have Jesus, His Word, and His ways in common. As we embrace Him together, our differences become secondary and our mutual love for Him drives us to love each other as He has loved us.

Jesus is the master mixer! In His kingdom, pride and prejudice are out, and love and mutual acceptance are the order of the day. — Joe Stowell

Within the church of Jesus Christ
The joys of unity abound
When love accepts diversity
And prejudice cannot be found. —Sper

Christ’s love creates unity in the midst of diversity.

You know what... i feel like i want to focus my life only on God, soccer and photography.... nothing else.... so that means... i am going to get a photography diploma or degree or something... after ns of course... ^^

Right now typing this, sitting next to marcus koh typing this out. He is just looking at 'bb' pics not doing his work which he is suppose to hand up later... if you read this i hope i have told u to do it le... haha...

photography diploma or degree.. hmm just need two things: 1. money, 2. a good portfolio.

Anyway... i want to play soccer... haiz... not enough ppl at times... need more training dates...

PLAY soccer!!!

i miss soccer days.... i really miss playing soccer..........

I'm blogging once again ^^

2008-07-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

I am back once again... this blog is going to be different... everyday i will post a picture, and accompanying it is the verse of the day from the "daily bread". In short, its going to be a photo blog with a picture and words, and sometimes i will do a photojournalism ^^

Posting soon!!